Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops