There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

911 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops