How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops