Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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im telling maguire

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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SEX

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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