Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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VITAMIN C!

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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