I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Male leadership.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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