Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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