What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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