In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops