My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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roak

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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