Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

your life

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

Chicken

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

The FCC

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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