What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Justin beiber..

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops