Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops