Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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