What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +51

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's just not right? Left

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops