Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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A gay man watches football.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Sloths

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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