What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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