A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops