The Charlotte Bobcats

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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Feminism.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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I can count to potato.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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