A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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CRY

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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