What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops