What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Obama

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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