What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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