Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

I said I hate niiggers

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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