Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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A Jew! Bless you.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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lol a man is drowning

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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