I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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Your time.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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knock, knock. come in.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops