What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops