A guy was beet by his wife.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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A man made a sandwich.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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the love boat

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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