What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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