If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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