How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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69 :)

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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