What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Black People.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops