Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats black and white? a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops