why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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... i forgot the joke :p

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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