I ponder

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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