A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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