How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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hipsters

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Proof reading

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops