Stop being a centipede

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Shit!

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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A

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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