What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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Why did the book disappear?

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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split your ass cheek

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Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

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Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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