Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What just hit my face? The floor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My phone rang. So I answered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

thumb_up thumb_down +24

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops