Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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What does? 42

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops