Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops