Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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