What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops