Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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