Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

I'm Polish.

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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