What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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