how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Small Penis.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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