Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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