A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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