What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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