- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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