Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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