What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

So a baby seal walks into a club.

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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