"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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