Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops