what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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